I’m not going to even pretend this was my idea.
Basically, ever since Guardians of the Galaxy came out, people have been talking about how it seems like a well-balanced, well-managed game of Dungeons and Dragons. Well, space Dungeons and Dragons. In fact, you should look up “Avengers play GOTG” on Tumblr and see the fun things people have come up with over there.
I first heard about it when hubby and I were out to dinner on Sunday night. Our friend Rob mentioned this article from TOR: What If Guardians of the Galaxy Were Just the Avengers’ D&D Campaign? Of course, we couldn’t agree on the Avengers who would be playing the different characters in the wild and crazy space campaign that would eventually go down in history as the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Therefore, I humbly submit my picks:
Dungeon Master: Agent Maria Hill
One night, probably after a few drinks and some shawarma, Hill admits that as a youngster, she loved to play Dungeons and Dragons. In fact, she was known as Merlin among her group of friends for her wizardly good DMing. “Wow, I can’t believe I told you guys that.” Thor needs an explanation of how one would play this game, and after hearing a few sentences with words like “tavern,” “quest,” and “battle,” he’s all in.
Drax the Destroyer: Thor
It takes a little bit of explaining before Thor realizes he can’t play as himself–with Mjölnir. Hill tells him that part of the fun is pretending to be someone else. Thor doesn’t really understand why anyone would want that, but he comes up with the name “Drax the Destroyer” all by himself (surprising no one). Rather than let the god of thunder get bored, Hill decides she had better let everyone be high level.
Gamora: Clint Barton/Hawkeye
Barton practically jumps at the chance to play, deciding to play a green alien assassin. There’s a moment when Tony gives him a quizzical look, but Barton stares him down. “For what it’s worth,” Tony says, “I think you’ll make an incredible woman.” Barton didn’t really care why his character was a kick-ass assassin, so he just told everyone that Gamora is basically Black Widow…only green.
(A lot of people seem to think of Natasha for this role, but I think Gamora’s backstory would hit too close to home for her, and playing a character like this wouldn’t be the fun bit of escapism this group is looking for.)
Star-Lord: Steve Rogers/Captain America
We know that Steve is playing as Star-Lord, because who else would dwell on a 70s Greatest Hits soundtrack? He’s been catching up on everything he’s missed, and he’s determined to prove he knows some post-WWII references. While Hill teaches him the basics of combat on some lizard rats, he really gets into the roleplaying: “Just so you guys know, the music playing in my headphones right now is ‘Come and Get Your Love.'” To show Sam that he has been doing his homework, he throws in some Marvin Gaye.
Rocket and Groot: Pepper Potts and Tony Stark/Iron Man
Hill says, “Okay, Pepper, you’re space bandits. Who do you want to be?” Pepper thinks about it, and announces that she’s going to be a raccoon, “because raccoons look kind of like bandits, right?” Immediately, Tony declares, “If she gets to be a raccoon, then I’m going to be a tree.” And he sticks to it throughout, lucking out with some crazy good attack rolls.
But mostly, it goes like this, “Tony, what is your character doing?” “I don’t know. He’s drinking from a fountain or something.” Pepper realizes that her character is the perfect opportunity to parody Tony, and when she occasionally can’t think of a sufficiently smart-ass comment to make, her fellow teammates (all except Tony) are more than willing to help her out.
Phil Coulson as The Collector
Sam Wilson/Falcon as Corpsman Rhomann Dey
Natasha Romanov/Black Widow as Nebula (just to antagonize Barton)
Nick Fury as Yondu (Seriously. Imagine Fury saying “baubly baubly boo.”)
Sorry, Bruce Banner doesn’t appear in my version. He’s probably off looking for a motorcycle or something.
What do you think of my choices? Agree? Disagree? Discuss and share your picks in the comments!